Marraige Counselor

A drug addict and his wife decide to go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor by herself. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 25 years, so what seems to be the problem with your marriage?"The wife responds, "It's my husband -- he's driving me insane! I'm going to leave him if he doesn't stop!" "How is he driving you crazy?" "For 25 years," she says, "he's been doing these annoying things. No matter where we go he's always looking at the floor. He's paranoid. It's embarrassing." The marriage counselor asks, "Anything else?" "He keeps picking his nose all the time!" "OK, anything else?" The wife pauses, "whenever we make love, he never lets me be on top! Once in a while, I'd like to be on top!" "Well," says the counselor, "I'll talk to your husband now." So the wife goes out of the room and the husband steps in. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her insane. She might even divorce you." The husband looks very surprised, "Why? For 25 years I've been loving and kind and I've always given her what she needs! What could be the reason?" The counselor replies, "She says that you've got these annoying habits that are driving her wacko. First, you're always looking at the floor." The husband says, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father asked me to do on his deathbed and I swore I would." "What did he ask?" "He said that I should never step on any one's toes!" The counselor smiled, "Well, that just means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks surprised, "Oh. Okay." The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose." "Well, its another thing my father asked me to do! He asked me to always keep my nose clean." The counselor said, "That means that you should not be involved in anything illegal." "Oh my goodness," says the husband. "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top while making love." "That," says the husband, "is the last thing my father asked me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important of all." "What did he ask?" The husband responded, "In his last breath, he said. Don't screw up."