The Wife

A cop pulls over a speeding driver. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 85 miles per hour.' The driver says, 'My, officer I had it on cruise control at 55, is it possible your radar gun needs calibrating?' Not looking up from her reading the wife says: 'Now don't be coy honey, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' So the cop writes out the ticket, the man looks over at his wife and says, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut?' The wife smiles and says, 'you should have slowed down when your radar detector went off.' As the cop makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man looks at his wife and says, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut for a minute?' The officer glances around and says, 'I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt. That's an automatic $100 fine.' The driver says, 'Well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license and registration out of my wallet.' The wife responds, 'You know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt anymore when you're driving.' And as the cop is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and yells, 'WON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?' The cop looks over at the woman and asks, 'does your husband always talk to you like this, Ma'am?' The wife says, 'Only when he's been drinking.'